Bar Maid. A new charity event evolves, and K-Mart still sux...

I have a small addiction to the deal websites. I spend perhaps more time than I should checking these sites to see if an irresistible deal exists on, well, anything really. On Monday I saw that K-Mart was selling Halloween costumes at a deep discount. I was surprised to learn that K-Mart was still in business. :-)

On Wednesday, I was talking to Jae. He was trying to convince me to run in the 5K run that was being held at work. When I realized that it was on Halloween, I suggested that Jae run it in a costume. I was particularly fond of the inflatable bar maid costume which was on sale for $11.99. It turned out that the sale had expired, so I was less willing to buy it. Then Jae said, "Well, if you bought it, I would wear it for the run." Sounded like a challenge to me! I quickly found 6 people to chip in for the costume. Jae started to regret his word choice, but agreed he would wear it.

After some thought, Jae decided to run for Toys for Tots, that way people wouldn't think he was as strange. He modified our ELFK sponsor sheet and went around collecting sponsors. It had a picture of the costume at the top. He quickly collected almost $300 of sponsorships.

At this point, I decided I had better order the costume quickly. I went to the KMart website and clicked "Add to Cart." Nothing happened. I noticed that beneath the button, there was a page or more of javascript code. The site was clearly broken. I checked other items on the site. Every item had the same broken button. I wished that I knew someone who owned stock in K-Mart so I could suggest that they sell it immediately.

I decided that it would be worth a trip into Dallas to buy the costume. I did a search for stores within 100 miles of my house. None. Fine. 500 miles. There were about 5. Only two of them were in my state. The nearest one was in Longview.

My coworker Daniel drives to Longview every weekend to visit his lady friend. I asked him to ask her to go buy the costuime. I called the store to see if they have it in stock. Afer 5 minutes of hold music, I got the "Halloween Costumes Representative." I described what I was looking for. After another minute of hold music, he returned and said "Sir, we do not have many customs. I searched through them and did not find, um, the uh, custom that you specified. You might want to come in and look." Wow that inspired confidence. I'm sure this employee really looked through all of his customs and didn't just put me on hold for a minute while pretending to look for, um, whatever it was that I wanted. Right.

I called my wife at home and asked her to try adding the item to her cart at K-Mart's website. She was successful. Sweet! I told her to buy it. To be sure it arrived in time, we would need the express shipping. Fine. Select shipping method. Express. Next. Enter shipping address. Next. Enter shipping address? Again? OK... Next. Enter shipping address. Oh great. There is an error code in the corner of the screen.

Well, with so many sponsors that had seen the costume at the top of the form, it had to be this one. I called K-Mart's 1-800 number. I read them the item number. They asked for my shipping address. Then the lady recited the same error code to herself and put me on hold to try ordering through another system. She came back with "Our site is currently down, but if you try again in 30-45 minutes, I'm sure it will be up again." Right. Or at least your shift will be over by then.

Defeated, I suggested we try to find a similar costume. The brand that maid this costume seemed to be exclusive to K-Mart. It turned out that "bar maid costume" was not a safe-for-work search term. We considered the inflatable sumo wrestler - not as funny.

Then my wife called. "It's on eBay! $50." Sold! I handed Jae the cash and he ordered it on his credit card. He emailed the seller to ensure it would arrive in time for the run.

Two days later, K-Mart's site was still broken and they responded to my initial feedback e-mail.
"Dear Eric, Thank you for contacting Sears. We appreciate you taking the time to contact us about this technical issue. A portion of our site is down, and the technical staff is diligently working on a resolution. Thank you for your patience."

Great! They misspelled my name, and they are now owned by Sears. I liked Sears, but it's new gangrenous appendage will probably lead to eventual total system failure. :(

Jae has now raised almost $500 in sponsorships for the event. The local newspaper said the were sending a reporter and a photographer. I decided not to run so it would be easier for me to video tape. The event organizer has been informed and thinks it's an awesome idea.

Jae received the costume on Friday. His dog got to the box and chewed it up a bit. The wig is a bit damaged, but the rest is in tact. Not exactly the same as the picture, but close enough. Jae's goatee really ties the costume together.

So on Halloween, there will be a bar maid with facial hair running along the side of the highway with me videotaping. But don't worry, it's for the children.